One of our classmates has a T-shirt which reads:
You don’t need therapy, you just need to go to Bali!
Well, I could not agree more! I had the possibility of becoming a certified NLP Master Practitioner in Amsterdam as it was closer to home. My innerself kept repeating: Bali, Bali, Bali and I just knew I had to change my registration, and book a ticket to Bali!
So I did, and here I am in tropical paradise taking classes in a peaceful villa with complete strangers from all over the world! Actually, we are day four now, and the complete strangers are already good friends as it seems like we have known each other for years. NLP in Bali does that do you!
Re-wind, what the heck is NLP?
What is NLP you may wonder? You can ask uncle google who will give you a comprehensive definition.
How I understand NLP to be is techniques that help you re-code your brain by focusing on the “how” instead of the ”what”.
In other words, it is solution oriented and helps re-program your brain. I may have lost you, or you may think whatever, only psychologists can do this!
You will be surprised by some of the breakthroughs we had already on day four. Nicole Schneider, our trainer, is a masterpiece and is teaching the entire classroom life-changing concepts through a blending of theory, practice and a hefty dose of authenticity and humor!
Here is my breakthrough which redefines how I will handle office politics or any behavior in the future that is no longer serving me in a meaning full way.
Generating a new behavior
I am one of the more active or annoying students who always asks questions. So when Nicole asked who has a behavior they want to change and are ok to speak freely about this in front of the class, my hand went up immediately. The behavior I wanted to get rid of was to stop taking things personally. I gave an example at work where in the past, a previous manager had blind copied me in an important email so they can get all the credit with the big boss. As a consequence, I felt excluded.
The issue though is that I let it happen without communicating directly with them and held a grudge for a long time.
This is what I learned using NLP placing my self in the different perceptual positions:
The inner child
In certain situations, I still see myself as the helpless little girl instead of the kick-ass professional woman I am. When reliving this scenario with Nicole during a demonstration, I realized I was very emotional about it, and I acted like a victim. When we take it personal, we weaken ourselves in the process.
Strategy and tactics
By making it personal, I failed to see that the other party was most likely strategizing and using one of their tactics part of everyday office politics. They would have acted the same with someone else, and it had nothing to do with me as an individual. Nor did it make them a bad person.
One of the powerful take-aways I have so far is that of adopting a non-judgemental attitude at all times. You will be surprised how much clarity you can gain by simply observing without judgement.
Oprah Winfrey saved me once again
One of the perceptual positions (an NLP model where you see from different perceptions) during the demonstration included modeling a behavior of a person I saw as a role model in this particular situation. I chose Oprah as I had used her once before a few years ago when I did my first significant public speaking as my nerves got the best out of me. Borrowing behaviors from Oprah worked like a charm! So when I replayed the scenario in my head through the eyes of Oprah, the result was strikingly different. She acted as a leader, she was assertive and she took ownership of the situation in a collaborative way.
When replaying the scenario through my own eyes by disassociating myself from my personal feelings, the outcome was so much better. In my head, I confronted the third party and explained how their behavior made me feel, and what the negative impact it had on the team. I requested they refrain from repeating themselves in the future.
I felt so empowered, and more importantly, I felt like the kick-ass professional woman whom from now on will prevail every time!
NLP turns out to be such a powerful way of understanding how to use your mind and overcome some of your biggest fears, greatest struggles and personal behaviors which no longer serve you. I already feel like a renewed person on day four. I can only imagine what I will feel like when the course is over on day sixteen.
Stay tuned and continue to follow me on www.inspireshareact.com as I take you on my journey of personal growth, empowerment, and purpose in tropical paradise.