Those who know me well, know that authenticity is part of who I am and everything I stand for. Superficial connections and small talk are just something I always avoid or simply cannot be bothered with.
It’s not that I don’t want to sometimes, but I literally get anxious when I know and feel shallowness.
When people pretend to be someone they are not. When people feel the need to brag and show off their titles to make up for their own lack of self-awareness and contentment.
And if you are a highly intuitive person like me, you see through people’s bullshit right away.
So to sit there and pretend you believe their act, can be very draining. And we have to sometimes because of many reasons, mainly because people are human beings with feelings and we all have different personalities and behaviors.
Diplomatically Dutch can take you a long way in finding a balance between staying true to your values and letting go of what no longer serves you.
During my Global NLP Training in Bali I discovered many things which suddenly made sense. The pieces of the puzzle were finally put together, and I was able to make sense of the positive intent behind my own behaviors.
Perhaps the biggest revelation to others was that I am an Introvert. I felt so at ease with the students, and I connected quickly with many, so they all thought I was this big-hearted extrovert. When in reality, I let my mask down throughout the whole course.
It was because I shared authentic connections with most of them. It was because we realized we were all broken in some way or another no matter our background, titles, status or origins.
This course was life-changing in the sense we learned new tools and concepts to live a life of well-being.
It was life-changing because of the students, the teachers, and the entire experience of staying in a beautiful villa in Ubud Bali. A place where we could interact with local cultures and people on a daily basis and realize how having perspectives change everything.
There were a few people I connected with on a profound level and in unexpected ways. Now, before your mind goes wandering off, these connections are through the heart!
One of them is the inspirational woman Deborah Conti. I genuinely believe she came into my life at the right time.
I am an open book with those chapters of my life I chose to share. There are many other chapters I have difficulties sharing in person, which is why writing is an excellent way out. It helps me heal, and it inspires/heals many others around the world. Still, a lot of pain I keep to myself as trust is something I rarely do.
Until I met Deborah. I poured my heart out on Day two of the course. And she held space for me without judgment. Without the looks. And without talking about her own life.
Think about how many times you wanted someone just to listen to you, without judging or comparing your suffering with their own?
Because of Deborah, I transformed parts of me that were hidden behind my own inner walls. I allowed others to see my pain and I let them help me heal this pain.
I finally believed that it is ok for others to help me as well. I finally believed that I don’t have to be strong all the time. I finally believed it is ok to receive love instead of giving without limits.
Why am I sharing this blog?
I am sharing because we live in a world where many of us seem to have it all, yet they may suffer the most without showing. Those you envy may need your compassion now more than ever.
I am sharing because I want you to stop and reflect on someone in your environment which you believe has got it all. I want you to hold space for them and listen without judgment. Without comparison to your own life.
I am sharing because we all need people to just hold space for us. People who are compassionate. People who connect beyond the superficial.
In a world where perfection is held to high standards, know that your own standards are enough.
Know that perfection is an illusion.
Know that living a life of well-being starts from within.
Know that some people are in your life for a reason and allow them to hold space for you. You will know when these are your people, we all have them if we just open our eyes and see.
One of my people is Deborah. She has touched me in ways no one else has because she fully embraces the beautiful, kind and pure soul she is. I am truly blessed to know her, and I am sure we will have many more moments together while chasing our dreams.