Do you struggle with your voice in your head? I mean, is your voice in your head telling you beautiful stories of empowerment and uplifting? Or is it just the other way around? Most people would answer that their voice is set to “default negative thinking.” 

We all have our inner critic, which shows up in different shapes and forms, but is very present nonetheless. The secret is that it is not a bad thing as long as you learn to balance it with positive feelings. 

“Nadja, there you go again with your inspirational crap. Do you know how unfortunate my reality is? Do you know that I wake up every day with low levels of confidence, while my colleagues are trying deliberately to sabotage me? Do you know how hard I have to work to feed myself and my family? Not to mention my boss, who only thinks of themselves? The work keeps piling up and up and up. I don’t have time nor the willingness to look for positive feeling thoughts! 

It feels so much better to be in a negative state of feeling because that’s what I am used to anyway!!

The last sentence is your clue to your root cause of feeling unhappy. The root cause of why your inner critic is always taking control of your life and drives you to places while making sure you feel awful. And when you do get excited, it is short-lived before. You come up with all the worst-case scenarios why someone like YOU doesn’t deserve to feel HAPPY. Things may go wrong when you do, and you could not bear the thought nor the feelings of disappointment, rejection, hurt, sadness, and so on.

I am Dutch, so I am going to say it like it is with a lot of love and kindness behind my words 

(just imagine it): 

You are responsible for your outer world as you perpetuate your inner world based on negative feelings. Trust me, I have been there for over two and a half decades. Everyone else was responsible for my life until the day I stopped giving my power away, and moved my inner critic to the backseat. They hated it in the beginning, and now they accepted their new reality. Their only job is to guide me in doing and feeling good. Full stop!

The alternative is to be in a negative state of emotions most of the time. A chronic state of feeling negative can lead to depression. Depression is a common mental disorder. Globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression.

The uncomfortable feelings that are part of your human experience, but which you never learned to understand nor embrace as a child or as an adult. This is EXACTLY why your inner critic gets to sit in the driver’s seat all the time. It’s time to put them in the back and take back the power of your feelings. Here is how to make a jump start by asking yourself the right questions. 

I will publish in a series of blogs every Monday throughout the month of March which is dedicated to boosting your confidence so that you are ready to enjoy the springtime with positive feelings! 

So make sure you follow me to read your journey to mastering your inner critic. The answers will be different for different people as we are on different journeys in our life. 


Why do I keep telling myself the same limiting and horror stories over and over again?

The good news is that there is science behind this answer. Dr. Bruce Lipton, a leading scientist is a great resource for you to learn more about the power of the subconscious mind.  

There is only bad news if you are not ready to make the necessary mindset changes so you can live a life above your potential while enjoying your journey of expansion and growth. Your brain has two minds, the conscious and subconscious mind. The conscious mind, your creative mind, is responsible for 5% of your functioning, which you use when you are actively aware of your behaviors and actions. 

Think as it when you fall in love, don’t you pay attention to what you say, how you dress, how you are perceived as you want to impress the other person? 

Or when you sit in a job interview. Aren’t you conscious of how you sit, how you answer the questions, and interact with your interview committee? That’s your creative mind!

The subconscious mind is responsible for 95% of your habits, behaviors, and thinking patterns. Between the age of 0 – 7 years, your subconscious mind absorbed all of the thinking patterns, and belief systems form your environment. 

If you grew up with a parent who suffered from:

  • low levels of confidence
  • found it difficult to express their emotions, 
  • always overachieved, and thought to be a perfectionist was the most crucial thing in life

…you are likely to have modeled those behaviors by using the same tapes as they did. 

The opposite is true, as well. If you grew up in an environment where you were:

  • allowed to be your authentic self
  • encouraged to feel good

and choose your own path, you are likely to have different beliefs. Still, later on in life, you may have had that teacher who felt very lonely and made it his or her life mission to put you down. That also can cause feelings of trauma and produce a belief system in your subconscious mind, which will then drive your behaviors and turn them into habits. 

Once you understand this, you can begin to find the right solutions for balancing your inner critic with positive feelings thoughts. Our inner critic is part of who we are, and you would not want to live without them. Your inner critic helps you navigate life and tells you exactly when you are not aligned with who you truly are at your core. Only then will you have the power to decide where you are going to focus on by feeling yourself back in alignment. 

We are taught to think our way in life when, in essence, the information that we process transitions first through our limbic system part of our brain. This means, your thinking is influenced significantly by the way you feel. This is golden information because now you can begin to learn how to navigate life from a place of positive emotions more often. 



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