Then you will want to read this
I love people in small doses, and I never knew this until I started my own business and journey as an entrepreneur. I worked for nearly two decades in large multinational organizations with a lot of people at once. Working in offices and being surrounded by people for more than two hours in a row felt like torture to my nervous system. I am an ambivert, meaning I developed a preference for both. But as I become older with the years and with a highly functioning bullshit detector, my tendency goes towards a choice for introversion.
When I started working for myself, I loved it! I was alone at home with only my son around every other week and people who I chose to be with. Still, the extraverted part in me kept banging on my door.
Nadja, I need people! I need to be around humans, go find a co-working space with other human beings!
So I did after six months of launching my business. I enjoyed being around people very much. I realize that what I told myself is what I believed, and thus, I felt in every cell of my body. Sure, I do have a sensitive nervous system, and I do need to protect myself by setting boundaries. Otherwise, I feel drained.
But I also realized that when I told myself that I love feeling surrounded by others who are also building their dream—people with fun attitudes and cool gossip stories. I missed that, and I enjoyed it very much!
Now, what has this to do with the title, because I am no introvert and I miss people!!
I get it; my son feels the same way. He is bored most of the time as a kid who has a high preference for extraversion, and who needs energy and other people to keep his activity levels going non-stop. He runs on autopilot and only stops when he is asleep. But that’s another story!
Let me offer you three ways to help you balance the feelings of lack during these confinement times.
Move away from any labels
We live in a world where status, comparison, and titles do matter. At least, until the COVID-2019 disrupted the lives of all, regardless of your status! So many people question their identity and try to cope with the uncomfortable by using labels. Now, I do believe personality types frameworks are so essential to help people understand how they process and convey information, and how their behaviors drive specific outcomes. However, I also believe that human beings are very complex and evolve when it comes to desires, needs, and actions.
Often what happens when we label ourselves as an extrovert or an introvert, we automatically adapt our thinking in a limited way. So even if there are parts within us that prefer to be alone, we start to feel sad and lonely when we are alone. And when we experience these negative emotions, we use negative language in our heads, which perpetuates this negative state of being.
Flip your script
Your choice of words is so important because you feel what you tell yourself. If you tell yourself that you feel sad when you are without people, then you will experience negative emotions. It is a very familiar thinking pattern, so telling yourself anything else will feel off.
We are taught to think our way through life instead of feeling our way through life. Hold on, I know it sounds weird, but stick with me for a minute!
When you understand that your subconscious mind is responsible for 95% of your being, your habits, and your thinking pattern – then you learn how to feed it different thinking patterns. There are various ways in doing so, and I recommend reading upon Dr. Bruce Lipton, who is a leading scientist when it comes to Positive Psychology and the subconscious mind.
In essence, when you use all of your senses when thinking a thought, it activates your subconscious mind. The questions you should ask yourself is then:
How would that look like?
How would that feel like?
How would that smell like?
How would that taste like?
Because your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what’s going on in reality and in your mind, you will experience it as if it is real. So if you practice in telling yourself thoughts that feel good at the moment and thoughts you believe, then you will feel better at that moment.
Practice it long enough, and you will become a master in living in the moment with positive feeling thoughts!
Tap into your energy source through intention
People who have a preference for extraversion get their energy from other people and social cues. This is essential for the way you think and process information. Only when I realized that I had a higher preference for introversion, I understood why people who think out loud felt so annoying to me! They were not trying to be annoying on purpose; it is just that they think out loud. So no more judging!
Let’s get back to a bit of science, quantum psychics specifically. Yesterday I had a video meeting with a person who I offered help to visualize their new outcome beyond their current reality.
Visualization techniques are excellent ways to boost your positive emotions, which will lead to higher energy levels, higher performance and engagement levels, and overall levels of well-being and fulfillment.
They told me right off the bat:
“Nadja, I don’t believe this is going to work online. I prefer to do this in-person, but we are stuck now, so I don’t have a choice”.
I smiled, because I have been doing this online even during the pre-Corona age and I know the power of intention setting and energy. We are all connected through energy fields.
But think of it yourself: How many times did you meet someone you never met before and it felt so off? You had no clue why! Other times you felt that your friend or your colleague or your partner was being weird even though you could not pinpoint it! This goes to shows that energy transcends what the eye can see, but not what the body can feel.
So our online video conference ended on a bang! She was in tears of joy. I had them visualize their son and his love for them, and guess what? He woke up from his sleep and came down to hug his parents. That’s how powerful it is, whether you believe it or not.
I had a wonderful coaching session with Nadja yesterday. Next to using a specific coaching technique, she went further to assist me with emotional blockages in a kind and professional manner. She was very involved and could react promptly to ‘my story’, highlighting different elements and situations I need to bring more attention to. Even though it was an online session, she manages to connect to you deeply . Nadja was also very careful not to push too much, when the emotions are high. She managed to guide the whole session with care, love and kindness!
Source: Feel free to check out my Facebook Page Recommendation to verify I am not making this up!
The same goes for connecting with your friends, with your colleagues, with your loved ones online. Before you do, set your intention and feel their energy. Even if you dislike them, because we are all in this together! For now at least…
Then connect online and make that meeting with your colleagues the best highlight of their day and your day.
Make that virtual drink with your friends as if you were together in person.
Make that chat with your parents, who you now appreciate more than ever, their highlight as you connect on a more profound level.
And if you want to take it a step further, write letters to all those people you now miss, and you wish you were connected with in-person beyond the screens. Focus only on the positive aspects.
Then when things transition into a new way of working and being, share with them your letter. This, my friends, will create connections from the heart at work and beyond. This will connect humanity and solidarity beyond the disruption we face today.
If there is any lesson we are supposed to learn from what is happening right now, is to let it be, to judge less, accept more, and connect from the heart.