One of the most powerful tools at our disposal when we feel lost or overwhelmed is to take a step back and develop perspective.
Some may like it light and see their situation from a few days or weeks from now. Others might take the radical route and think about what they would say to themselves if they were dying.
Because when you are dying, nothing really matters anymore except those things that matter the most to you. Those things you were always afraid of pursuing when you had the chance because of life’s excuses.
Not enough time, not good enough, not supported sufficiently, fear for people’s opinions, and so on. But on your death bed, those things dissipate like dust into the air.
Many wish they would have or could have done things differently and take their last breath with regret of not living the life they were born to live.
Whenever I feel in doubt or fear, I remember this feeling of future regret in every cell of my body, so that I can propel myself forward in building my legacy, in which many people start standing and living in their personal power.
Where exercising mental well-being becomes as natural as exercising your body. Where people learn to understand and use their emotions to feel more fulfilled, empowered, and tolerant with themselves and each other.
Most importantly, a legacy where people feel safe and secure within themselves so that they can stand and thrive beyond life’s disruption.
Writing your Eulogy brings so much clarity when the mind is filled with life’s clutter. So for you to truly feel inspired to take the leadership in your self to the next level, this is what I want people to say on the day I leave this planet.
My Eulogy read by my greatest gift in life, my son
It is a peaceful day. The sun is shining bright in the blue skies as people gather in an intimate setting. Her son gathers his courage as tears of sorrow and love flow down his cheeks. He grabs his piece of paper and starts speaking, at first with a trembling voice. But then he remembers his mother always telling him to breathe, slow down and stand in his magnificence when he is about to speak in front of an audience and feels nervous. So he did, and words started to flow with ease, clarity, and love.
“Today we are gathered to commemorate the loss of our beloved mother and human being, Nadja El Fertasi.
My mother was quite the disruptor and always looking out for the most significant challenges in life. She never looked for comfort but sought out the storms so she can create from the impossible. The Eagle was her favourite animal and served as an inspiration for all her actions so she could persevere and soar high in the infinite skies.
We all remember COVID-19 a few decades ago, and we all remember the global disruption in people’s lives on many fronts. She was passionate about cybersecurity and human behavior. She knew that if people would learn to understand their emotions and how they influence and shape their lifestyle, habits, decisions, and actions; they could start building emotional firewalls against hackers. Hackers who were also human beings leveraging emotional manipulation techniques to get people to do things without thinking. Many people discouraged her.
“Social engineering was too difficult to address. People cannot change. They have done studies that some people just fall for these things. Focus on something else Nadja, this is too complex, and no one will take you seriously”.
My mother was also passionate about tackling the root cause of issues instead of masking the problems by treating their symptoms. She believed that everyone had leadership qualities within them. Many around her talked about leadership, throwing around buzzwords, and focused on raising their public profile.
From her experience, she knew that many proclaimed leaders inflicted suffering on others in the workplace without even being aware themselves. She saw so many professionals giving away their power and succumbing to the concept of “learned helplessness“. Everything happens to them, and they can’t help but feeling a victim of their circumstances. Especially when the world was dealing with the pandemic, so many found themselves lost, without a job, losing loved ones, and simply feeling overwhelmed with the disruption caused by this virus.
Cybercrime went up 600% that year because hackers understood that weakness in humanity is when victim mentality prevails. It was easy to manipulate people and inflict damage and loss with ripple effects beyond their digital reality. She promoted and helped organizations invest in cultivating personal leadership and helped empower people to build emotional firewalls.
Firewalls against the digital overload of information so they can learn to filter out fake news, toxic information and useless newsfeeds.
Firewalls to help people become aware of their triggers and learn how to respond instead of reacting based on reason instead of impulse.
Firewalls to help people communicate with Empathy and have head to heart conversations and vice versa.
Firewalls to help people no longer judge their managers and leaders for the lack of support but ignite their creative problem solving and develop solutions that work for the entire team.
Her vision was to turn around the notion that people are an organization’s weakest link in social engineering attacks. Instead, they became human organizational shields as they stood in their power and learned to act from reason and think before falling prey. Not only would the percentage of human error decrease, but people would find purpose again in their work. They would feel engaged and motivated to show up and enjoy what they do.
Productivity and performance levels go up, human potential soars, and organizations flourish again. In her mind, it was a win-win situation to rebuild and rise in the post-pandemic world!
It was far from easy to get this message across as many did not believe in personal empowerment or emotional intelligence. Command and control, disciplinary actions, we always have done it this way, unconscious bias, and so on was used as an excuse for not starting the change towards a more human workplace in the digitized world.
I admire many things about my mother, but what I admire the most about her is her limitless courage to go after what she feels in her heart and sees with her mind. Like an Eagle, her vision of a world where people learned to build emotional firewalls and thrived in their work was something only she could see clearly, no matter how far down the road.
Her job was not to convince but to demonstrate how her vision would look and feel like. No matter the rejections she faced, no matter how difficult it became, and no matter the discouraging advice she received. She believed her vision to be possible, necessary and valuable in helping solve a big problem for the world. So she continued on her quest with passion and purpose, never backing down.
And now, her legacy is a global empire of purpose and value that has redefined humanity in the digital century.
She taught me to always believe in myself, even when no one else does. Because your vision is only apparent in your mind, not someone else’s.
The Eagle is the only bird who is not afraid to seek out the storms. Instead it glides through the storms of the skies with its wings wide open and it knows it has the ability to soar high and above the dark clouds of life. It keeps soaring high until it reaches the sun rays in the bright blue skies.
And so she soared high in the skies to embrace the blue skies after the storms. She worked with amazing people and clients who formed a community of change towards a vision where cybersecurity was no longer an ambiguous and boring field for the remote workforce but an exciting part of their new ways of working and living.
There is so much more I want to share, but she would not want me to share it all at once. This is why I am writing her biography, which will be published next year. She has written many books that have inspired communities worldwide to pursue change from a place of empowerment and emotional intelligence.
This book is her final one where her life story will hopefully serve as a beacon of light and inspiration to those who think they are not enough.
To those who keep their dreams on the back burner to please others.
To those who never learned how to love themselves.
To those who hide in shame of showing up as their authentic self.
Her soul lives on forever, and I can feel her presence still with me today and in this room.
Her love for humanity and for those closest to her is a gift from heaven, one we will continue to treasure and honor by loving others and ourselves unconditionally.
Thank you for being with us today.”